S. SEKOU ABODUNRIN
[This is not an article discussing abortion, but birth control or family planning within a marriage]
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3, 5 NASB
Any casual reader of God’s word can easily see that the issue of childbearing should not be taken lightly. Unlike the 21st century mindset that considers children as a hindrance, the word clearly shows that they are gifts. As a father myself and a pastor, I often come across Christians that are clueless about what the bible says concerning this important theme. Right within the first chapter of Genesis we find these words – “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…” some people point out that on the basis of that verse the Christian should not do anything about the size of his family. The reasoning is that birth control methods unveil our disregard for God in this area. The reasoning is that the more the children you have, the more fruitful you are, but is this so? Now it is clear that children are a gift from God and our minds need to be renewed to that fact. We need to realize that having many children does not mean that one believes the word concerning children. You will agree with me that a wife is also a gift from the Lord and that the marriage union is holy and of God, but not every Christian is required to marry.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. Mt 19:12
We see from the teaching of the Lord Jesus that some are eunuchs for the sake of the gospel. These eunuchs have made themselves this way so that they can be more separated for gospel purposes. He says that this is what they chose to “receive”. In other words this is also a gift. Accordingly there are two gifts in the area of marriage – the gift to stay unmarried so as to be separated to God which is as valid as the gift of marriage. Paul and Barnabas clearly waived this right. By receiving the gift of the unmarried state Paul and Barnabas exclude the possibility of their fulfilling these commands on fruitfulness. Were they sinning in doing this? Clearly not. The complete revelation of scripture teaches that just because a thing is a gift does not mean we are to pursue as much of it as we can. We can waive certain rights when properly motivated from scripture. It also stands to reason that the instructions in Gen 1 also cover taking dominion over the land, sea and air. On the basis of that is it wise for anyone to take ownership of more resources than he can handle? Of itself owning resources is neither good nor bad, it is the use to which we put it and the motivation behind it that matters. However if I take out mortgage on houses that far exceed my income I bring a reproach on the name of the Lord and destroy his testimony before men! Now, that is a sin to be repented of. It is clear that God expects us to exercise stewardship of his resources that are at our disposal thoughtfully.
There are some that feel that taking the concept of stewardship seriously in the area of childbearing is “trying to play God”. So one asks “how would I allow God determine the number of children?” and the standard answer is “do nothing”. On the surface, that sounds really spiritual, but it is not. It is not true that “doing nothing” means that God is in control. Doing nothing actually means that we are leaving things to nature! It is plain from scripture that man is to take dominion on this earth and with that dominion comes the right and power of choice. There are few things, if any, that we allow to take its natural course on earth today. We trust God and exercise sound reasoning by brushing our teeth daily, bathing, creaming our body, and maintaining proper grooming and hygiene even though the bible is clear that the body is bought with a price and that it belongs to the Lord! While it is true that the bible says that every hair on our head is numbered, I am thankful that most Christian gentlemen have a haircut regularly without resorting to thinking that by doing nothing about their hair they are giving God full control. You catch the drift? Stewardship of God’s gifts in our lives is an important principle in the Christian life. Rather than see birth control as hindering God’s plan, I receive it as a gift from God! It is our motivations and reasoning that really determine the use of the gift. You see, birth control properly can be abused just like childbearing can be abused. We have a say about our maturing to the place where we are ready for parenting. We influence “due time”. Birth control is not about controlling God, but about responsible stewardship.
But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Tim 5:8
Consider that Paul wrote this to a pastor. He is showing that this is an area where the church allows families provide for their own needs. We see from the word of God that a fellow that doesn’t provide for his house is worse than an infidel. The language used is strong – he has denied the faith! A man cannot provide for his household in a proportion superior to his reasoning and planning. A fellow cannot provide for his household beyond the level of stewardship he is exercising. While all the earth belongs to the Lord, the man is not in control of all the earth, it is smart not to live above his means.
[This is not an article discussing abortion, but birth control or family planning within a marriage]
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3, 5 NASB
Any casual reader of God’s word can easily see that the issue of childbearing should not be taken lightly. Unlike the 21st century mindset that considers children as a hindrance, the word clearly shows that they are gifts. As a father myself and a pastor, I often come across Christians that are clueless about what the bible says concerning this important theme. Right within the first chapter of Genesis we find these words – “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…” some people point out that on the basis of that verse the Christian should not do anything about the size of his family. The reasoning is that birth control methods unveil our disregard for God in this area. The reasoning is that the more the children you have, the more fruitful you are, but is this so? Now it is clear that children are a gift from God and our minds need to be renewed to that fact. We need to realize that having many children does not mean that one believes the word concerning children. You will agree with me that a wife is also a gift from the Lord and that the marriage union is holy and of God, but not every Christian is required to marry.
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. Mt 19:12
We see from the teaching of the Lord Jesus that some are eunuchs for the sake of the gospel. These eunuchs have made themselves this way so that they can be more separated for gospel purposes. He says that this is what they chose to “receive”. In other words this is also a gift. Accordingly there are two gifts in the area of marriage – the gift to stay unmarried so as to be separated to God which is as valid as the gift of marriage. Paul and Barnabas clearly waived this right. By receiving the gift of the unmarried state Paul and Barnabas exclude the possibility of their fulfilling these commands on fruitfulness. Were they sinning in doing this? Clearly not. The complete revelation of scripture teaches that just because a thing is a gift does not mean we are to pursue as much of it as we can. We can waive certain rights when properly motivated from scripture. It also stands to reason that the instructions in Gen 1 also cover taking dominion over the land, sea and air. On the basis of that is it wise for anyone to take ownership of more resources than he can handle? Of itself owning resources is neither good nor bad, it is the use to which we put it and the motivation behind it that matters. However if I take out mortgage on houses that far exceed my income I bring a reproach on the name of the Lord and destroy his testimony before men! Now, that is a sin to be repented of. It is clear that God expects us to exercise stewardship of his resources that are at our disposal thoughtfully.
There are some that feel that taking the concept of stewardship seriously in the area of childbearing is “trying to play God”. So one asks “how would I allow God determine the number of children?” and the standard answer is “do nothing”. On the surface, that sounds really spiritual, but it is not. It is not true that “doing nothing” means that God is in control. Doing nothing actually means that we are leaving things to nature! It is plain from scripture that man is to take dominion on this earth and with that dominion comes the right and power of choice. There are few things, if any, that we allow to take its natural course on earth today. We trust God and exercise sound reasoning by brushing our teeth daily, bathing, creaming our body, and maintaining proper grooming and hygiene even though the bible is clear that the body is bought with a price and that it belongs to the Lord! While it is true that the bible says that every hair on our head is numbered, I am thankful that most Christian gentlemen have a haircut regularly without resorting to thinking that by doing nothing about their hair they are giving God full control. You catch the drift? Stewardship of God’s gifts in our lives is an important principle in the Christian life. Rather than see birth control as hindering God’s plan, I receive it as a gift from God! It is our motivations and reasoning that really determine the use of the gift. You see, birth control properly can be abused just like childbearing can be abused. We have a say about our maturing to the place where we are ready for parenting. We influence “due time”. Birth control is not about controlling God, but about responsible stewardship.
But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Tim 5:8
Consider that Paul wrote this to a pastor. He is showing that this is an area where the church allows families provide for their own needs. We see from the word of God that a fellow that doesn’t provide for his house is worse than an infidel. The language used is strong – he has denied the faith! A man cannot provide for his household in a proportion superior to his reasoning and planning. A fellow cannot provide for his household beyond the level of stewardship he is exercising. While all the earth belongs to the Lord, the man is not in control of all the earth, it is smart not to live above his means.
There are two broad ways that a fellow could fail to provide for his household, one method is by not working at all while the other method is to live in such a way as to generate a family exceedingly larger than his income stream. some hold that he should birth as many as possible and trust God to meet his needs. Does this mean that the man that thoughtfully plans is not trusting God? Again this reasoning is akin to “I’d not brush my teeth in order to show that I am believing God” – I feel it is a slap on God’s face to imply that a few pills stopped him. The pill affects your body; it doesn’t affect or stop God. To be fair, birth control is an area where the bible is not as loud as some people would make it appear. You do well to think intelligently and scripturally about what you and your wife are able to steward in a praiseworthy manner. Actually when we fail to provide for our household we are on grave ground. It is absolute truth that God is our provider, but scripture shows that he uses people as his channel of provision. In this case he is saying that if the people that he uses refuse to provide then they have denied the faith. Simply put then, he uses the decisions that we make to bring his provision into our lives. So, when a father refuses to provide for his household trying to factor in that God will move the church members he has denied the faith. In the light of this a man and his wife have the grave responsibility to know ahead of time what their family size will be. This is upholding the faith. Would you attend an interview in order to get a job? Attending the interview is a means to receiving the job and while it is true that it involves human activity it doesn’t mean that it is wrong. It stands that having more children than you can provide for is proof that you have denied the faith. Denying the faith means denying the teachings of Jesus. It is exposing Jesus to ridicule in public life.
We already have a witness from the way the body of a woman functions. God has so designed the woman that fertility is not equally likely every day of the month. I will also chip in that those that maintain that sex between husband and wife should never be for pleasure only would have to consider that when a wife is pregnant she, as well as her husband still wants sex. Since there is no possibility of a conception resulting from this should they deny one another? The fact that the woman has cycles in effect means that we cannot have endless flow of babies even if we so wanted. An endless flow of babies is not possible and neither is it God’s design.
There are roughly 12 such periods within a given year. This option comes up every month. We can learn from it. It is in effect a continual reminder that we can do something about birth control. There are those that want a large family made up of 10 children, there is nothing wrong with that. There are also husband and wife couples that have determined that they want 3 children. Then there are those that decide that they don’t want any. In Christian circles the couple with 10 children often condemns those with 3, and then wonder of all wonders the couple with 3 children heap this condemnation on the couple that have decided not to have any. The truth is that size of family is not the true measure with God, if it was, then 10 is too small a measure of God’s ability to start with. I have seen couples in certain cultures that have a large family only because they placed a smaller premium on girls and so kept a permanent bed at the maternity ward until a baby boy came forth! Though those families are large they show a cultural bias and not reliance on the word. Then of course you have those that feel that children are unnecessary “evils” – they wouldn’t put it that way, but would refuse to have a child because their career will be slowed. That is equally as unscriptural as unending child-births because of gender preferences.
Some admit that birth control is permissible, but it has to be “natural” otherwise they perceive it as unrighteous. By natural it is implied that following the woman’s cycle is “the way”. The fact is that this group already admits that there should be control. Again, this is not a discussion on abortion – this article is not large enough to cover that. If we agree that birth control is permissible then a man and his wife should consider firstly their motives and then methods that are mutually agreeable to both. Is the “natural” method the only method for the believer? I think not. Is every method beneficial? No. somewhere in between those two lies the answer. Definitely it is unwise to violate your conscience on any matter in life. We should endeavor to use the word to correct and retrain our conscience in this area. Children are a blessing and a valid way of extending godly influence into the earth, but our readiness and planning or lack of both could make out a blessing to appear to be a curse.
We already have a witness from the way the body of a woman functions. God has so designed the woman that fertility is not equally likely every day of the month. I will also chip in that those that maintain that sex between husband and wife should never be for pleasure only would have to consider that when a wife is pregnant she, as well as her husband still wants sex. Since there is no possibility of a conception resulting from this should they deny one another? The fact that the woman has cycles in effect means that we cannot have endless flow of babies even if we so wanted. An endless flow of babies is not possible and neither is it God’s design.
There are roughly 12 such periods within a given year. This option comes up every month. We can learn from it. It is in effect a continual reminder that we can do something about birth control. There are those that want a large family made up of 10 children, there is nothing wrong with that. There are also husband and wife couples that have determined that they want 3 children. Then there are those that decide that they don’t want any. In Christian circles the couple with 10 children often condemns those with 3, and then wonder of all wonders the couple with 3 children heap this condemnation on the couple that have decided not to have any. The truth is that size of family is not the true measure with God, if it was, then 10 is too small a measure of God’s ability to start with. I have seen couples in certain cultures that have a large family only because they placed a smaller premium on girls and so kept a permanent bed at the maternity ward until a baby boy came forth! Though those families are large they show a cultural bias and not reliance on the word. Then of course you have those that feel that children are unnecessary “evils” – they wouldn’t put it that way, but would refuse to have a child because their career will be slowed. That is equally as unscriptural as unending child-births because of gender preferences.
Some admit that birth control is permissible, but it has to be “natural” otherwise they perceive it as unrighteous. By natural it is implied that following the woman’s cycle is “the way”. The fact is that this group already admits that there should be control. Again, this is not a discussion on abortion – this article is not large enough to cover that. If we agree that birth control is permissible then a man and his wife should consider firstly their motives and then methods that are mutually agreeable to both. Is the “natural” method the only method for the believer? I think not. Is every method beneficial? No. somewhere in between those two lies the answer. Definitely it is unwise to violate your conscience on any matter in life. We should endeavor to use the word to correct and retrain our conscience in this area. Children are a blessing and a valid way of extending godly influence into the earth, but our readiness and planning or lack of both could make out a blessing to appear to be a curse.
... to be continued
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